After Bukowski
by Mark Reep
The night she left she claimed she fucked Bukowski. Couple months, when she was twenty-two.
I watched her pack. I couldn't do the math. I said bullshit. What year'd he die?
Check it out. I'm in that documentary.
Which one?
She shrugged. It's on YouTube.
I said what about I leave young women to young men?
She laughed. How's it feel writer boy? Followin' a real one? Doncha wish I'd told you sooner?
I never knew whether to believe her. Why didn't you?
Cause you'da used it, like you use everything. Everybody. You never even ask.
She stuffed clothes into a plastic bin. I wanted to say not everything. Not everything.
She snapped the lid shut, looked around. She said she was taking the electric blanket.
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Author's Note
Published in Metazen.
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"Cause you'da used it, like you use everything. Everybody. You never even ask." I can relate. Great work, Mark. fave
ew bukowski was a nasty old man thats not something to brag about
"Cause you'da used it, like you use everything. Everybody. You never even ask." This is true. Ask MaryAnne.
They always take the electric blankets, don't they?
Good one, Mark.
fav
Fine, spare work, Mark. Hank woulda been impressed.
Loved the appearance of You Tube in a Bukowski parody. Hope he didn't let her take that electric blanket.
Pow! What an ending! And she's right, you know; we use everything. of course we do. *
Love the way you used the title. Then again you use everything, right? And you used it perfectly in this piece.
FAVE!
Read this in Metazen. Liked it then and now.
This is so good. The first two paragraphs blew me away. Then great lines just kept coming. Love it! *
Strong opening. Great form. Works so well. Good piece, Mark. Enjoyed.
I love how this shows the tension between this couple and the tension that's created when we use our lives to create fiction.
Great story! fave
He does use everything, even the things she takes with her like the electric blanket!
Good piece, Mark.
*
IMO: Piece flows better if you delete (or move) "I never knew whether to believe her."
Yeah, "How's it feel writer boy?" to come that close to Bukowski. Looks like some of it has rubbed off. Good story, fun to read.
You definitely had me from the first line, Mark!!! I can see these two!*****
bitter, sad, well written, compressed, smashing dialogue. Fave.
Big thanks to all who've taken time to read and comment. Responses on your walls.
I love the compressed form, the realness of it all. Nice writing *
I agree with those who said it has a strong opening. It definitely does. Chinaski would approve, or tell you to go screw yourself. Personally, I'd pay to have him tell me to screw off! :-) Great piece.
Love the dialogue and the conciseness. It's an understatement to say that's a killer opening line.
I love the duality of the title! This has such a great flow to it...and that gut punch "you'da used it" line. Nice work, Mark!
Wow. I'm amazed how clearly I could not only hear this couple (your dialogue is phenomenal), but see them. The scene really came alive. I guess she knew how to use things too - what to reveal and when, the electric blanket. Well done.
Tight,cutting.
"Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink" - Buk!
this made my head hurt when i read it first, but any mention of bukowski makes my head hurt. it doesn't matter. it's good.
Whether he should or not (and I do, too, so there's that), I love what you've used here.
Nice.
Hi Mark.
I really like this piece. Interesting that the dialogue is such a powerful element in painting the scene and moving things along, and yet, there is no need for quotation marks. Spare but powerful.
That last line is a killer. Keep it up, man.
*!
late to the party, but there you go.