Waiting
The goldfish bowl teetered on the counter's edge. Mary waited. Would it crash and break? She hoped so.
He had stormed out of the kitchen, knocking the bowl, slamming the door.
She hadn't told him everything. He grew red-faced at her quiet words, “I'm pregnant.”
“You have got to be kidding me. Christ, this is all we need right now.” He left.
She hadn't told him the other part. “And, I have cancer.”
The goldfish bowl fell, glass shards speckled her lineolum. The fish flopped on its side. She waited for the desire to help, but found she couldn't move.
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Author's Note
This 100 word flash piece was inspired by a blog challenge from Rachael Harrie's second blog crusade.
Other stories by Pamela J. Parker
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yes. this feels just right. great little gem.
Many thanks Meg! It's been a while since I've posted here... feels good to be back. :-)
Powerful story, dramatically portrayed with graphic imagery. I strongly empathize with the uncertainties and probabilities Mary faces in the future. I wonder what his problem is "right now."
Lol - I know what his problem is, but that's for a different story. :-) Thanks for your comments.
I like all the waiting in this story. Waiting to fall, waiting to tell, waiting for a baby, (Waiting for him to come back?) waiting for desire... the whole thing is pregnant.
Many thanks, Frankie.
Strong closing, Pamela. The image of the goldfish bowl to open and close is a great choice here. Yes. Good form. Enjoyed the work.
Thanks so much, Sam.
harsh & put me in a mood, i don't know which one but it solicited a strong emotional response.
Um, I'm thinking that's good, right, Marcus? :-)
Powerful. You get my vote. *
Thanks very much, Jack.
Oooh, Pamela, this is so real, I could see them in that kitchen and felt for her..
good story!
*
Thanks so much, Susan.
This 100 words packs a lot of punch. Well done. *
Thanks,Kim - glad you enjoyed it.
Excellent!..The goldfish bowl fell, glass shards speckled her lineolum. The fish flopped on its side. She waited for the desire to help, but found she couldn't move...perfectly rendered work.
Thanks so much, Darryl.
Every bit of this happened, right as I read it - that's how real it was, the language, the feelings, not forced, but natural...and real.
Oh thank you - that's what I seek in my writing, "...and real." Many, many thanks.
Devastating. *