Freckles

That will be one great collection, Meg.

This is a good piece. I like your approach to tone and details - and how the writing brings them to the page.

"When I'm thirsty I sound like a guy," she'd brag. One night she slept over with her brown back and her dance bag. I became quiet around bedtime, couldn't think of funny stories. She started looking around my room, all nosy, for something to tease me with. When she crawled under my bed I could see her bellybutton popping, an “outie”, like a Cheerio.

Yes.

Thanks so much, Sam. Yeah, this one just plopped out of a freewrite. Hm. Maybe I should make my process sound more mysterious! Anyway, I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for your kind words about Damn Sure Right!

Your process IS mysterious, Meg! No one works a freewrite as well as you do. Or at least, I love that you give credit freewrites and prompts. This story is a delight! *

Julie pinned it, 'mysterious process.' It cannot be taught. It comes from a special brand of genius. Either that, or you are possessed by an eclectic sort of Lucifer.

Another fantastic story.

Julie - you are very kind. Ha. Yes, well, this may be true that i do a good freewrite, but it has taken years of...um.. freewriting! I mean, it has taken years of unloosening. (drugs) No no....

James, ok you are too nice. Yes, well it could be the air here in San Francisco. The air here is so expensive we have to limit how much we take. So, it could be lack of oxygen. NO no, it is probably the funky Lucifer thing!

Star fave.

*

electric story...really love this, Meg. *

Thank you Ann!

Jules - thanks! When it ran in Madswirl they posted a photo of a firey-looking red-haired teen with huge glowing freckles. I wish it was still in their archive but i can't seem to find it.

thanks, David. I'm glad you liked this one.

Very affecting, this relationship you've developed between the narrator and Junie. A slice of interesting childhood rendered so well.

In the last paragraph, her musing about ruining her skin, wrinkling up and dying of cancer, felt, to me, a little out of place, a little too adult, and didn't follow naturally from the concept of being taught how to change her personality. Just my two cents.

So many wonderful lines here--a dog's version of banana frosting, spotted skin. Gorgeous. And the idea of not having something funny to say--it captures this girl's anxiousness about trying to be popular. (I do think Cherise has a good point, though.)

Thanks Cherise and very insightful comment about the ending. I will mull over this. i really will, before it's done for the collection

Thanks very much, Jon! I'm glad you told me what you liked and noticed. it's great feedback - strongly appreciated.

Excellent slide right into the essence of it.

Always a fan of your eye for detail and creative word choices, Meg! Good'n *

So fabulous, a really remarkable story
*

Thanks so much, Darryl.

Thanks Michael!

Susan, I'm so glad you feel that way about it.

I love the details in here, as always, Meg. Where did I read this before? I know this is the second reading, as this piece stuck with me. And now I got to read it again -- wonderful.

Wonderful, Meg! The comments here hit the mark—a special brand of genius, and, your own, a funky Lucifer thing.

Loved these lines, among others: “Freckles on my lips, flecks of oil, or butter, or tomato sauce on my t-shirts. Everywhere I was spotted, defective. Only the dog's eyes followed me, as if I were banana frosting or a dog's version of it.”

thanks, Michelle! It ran in Mad Swirl about a year and a half ago or so. I'm glad it stuck with you, that's a really good sign, I love it when a piece sticks. Thank you for saying so!

Chris - thanks. yes. I am getting ready to adopt the nickname. You are really kind. I don't know where the banana frosting came from, i don't think there is such a thing.

One of your best!

Thank you Bill!

I liked the expansiveness at the end, the wild and varied ways she'd like to change herself. She is getting quite expansive and I like that and that it opens out onto that at the end: "Anything felt possible." This felt quite age-appropriate. But that's my take. I was a kid/teenager like that. Also, I like the way she offers herself for Teddy, as if she's saving a piece of her childhood, but is also venturing into adult ways/thinking.

Thanks very much, Quenby. Yes, I was this way and also wasn't, i think it depends on the kid. I was a philosophical one - it's a mixed up time, and a very cool time to write about imo. very much appreciated.

Ballerinas and Teddy Bears, swan necks and birthday cakes, hide and seek games with belly buttons popping and the squeezing of a stuffed bear (Ted! not Teddy) leading to an opening, and a closing at the same time as if we're witness to the fading colors of childhood freckles.

thank you doug bond, how beautifully you commented on this. reading your comment is like reading the beginning of a micro or a poem.

Hi Meg,

Wow, this story is a stunner. Your details reveal such a depth of character(s), and the ages are nailed, the awkwardness magical, the way the story just swells into some vague, stretching possibilities at the end...wanting it to continue and yet perfectly not. The yearning, always there, for something, something...how do you do it? I'm a fan!

I agree with Quenby; the sacrifice at the end is touching, a balance between childhood and adulthood. Great flash. *

Thanks Robert! What a nice comment, you are such an attentive reader and so damn kind. Thank you!

Kim - I'm so glad you liked this flash. And good to know you agree on that part. Much appreciated!

really enjoyed this. opened itself up for me only at second read, which is a delight, like candy that works twice. i especially like the physical detail and the fearful tension here. beautiful.

Great story. Like the line: "Perfect and mean like a TV star."

Thanks so much Marcus! "like candy that works twice" - that is a line to start a poem with, or a story.

Hey Matthew, thanks for your comment here on "Freckles" and I liked that line too, they seemed perfectly mean to me but I didn't know if anyone else would understand. Thank you for understanding!

again & again, you go, meg----

i love this, ok?

i do

lol thank you Gary!

So many lines in this that I loved!!!! Great job.