My First Love Messages Me On Facebook
I unblock my first love on Facebook and he finds me.
It's been 20 years.
Don't tell anyone, but I planned on us getting married
at 18, except that didn't happen
and when that didn't happen
I had to live another life instead.
He tells me that he thinks he reached out as he needed healing
and I wonder if I should diagnose him on the spot,
explain what years of therapy taught me about him.
I don't.
Instead I compliment a photograph of the pot plants he grows, organic,
in a state where it's legal.
My boyfriend gets mad as 'first love' has a ring to it
and he wants me telling this first love asshole
that I'm with him now.
I do.
But no one is scared away by the term boyfriend,
so I tell him I may die a spinster.
And then I just cry over the fact that I didn't get married at 18
or now.
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Author's Note
Unedited. Will work on later. How the past can highlight the present.
Other stories by Jennifer Donnell
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Love the narrative power of so much said/implied beyond the speaker's last line lament: "And then I just cry over the fact that I didn't get married at 18
or now."
A lot here. I look forward to seeing where you take this.
The past is always in front of us.*
All time is unredeemable.