"Noah and I have had a fight," Greta said, " ... so I sent him away.
"Because," and she clears her throat her, starts to primp her hair, sits up in her chair — watch out, she's GATHERING HER THOUGHTS!!!
"Because — "
THE END!
Time's up.
--------------------------------
"Hi, I'm Wink Martindale!"
"And I'm Casey Karem!"
"And we hope you join us for 'The World's Funniest Bloopers, Practical Jokes and Tracheotomies!!!"
"But first, a word from Howard Cosell for Gillette™ men's shaving blades ... and then one from Joe Namath, legendary football superstar, for 'o.b.' tampons, for when you have that 'not-so-FRESH' feeling!!!
"And then, uh, let's SEE — "
---------------------------------
[CLICK!]
"Mabel!"
"Leroy, are you watching that tee-VEE again??" (throws DISHRAG over SHOULDER, stands with HANDS on HIPS-posture ... like she's *ready for ANYTHING*, folks!!! And yup — here it COMES:)
"When'd they cancel 'Hee-HAW'!!!"
"Oh, Lord — sakes ALMIGHTY!!!" (she starts ROLLING HER EYES and CARRYING ON, flipping the DISHRAG from her shoulder at IMAGINARY *DEMONS* ... and when this LITTLE *DANCE* is over, she SETTLES DOWN and adresses her husband THUSLY:)
"Leroy, if I had the answer to questions like that ... I'd have won the Novel® Prize, long AGO!!!"
THE END
(applause)
(along with hoots and cries along the lines of "You tell 'em, sister!!!" — à la 'Good Times,' and other crass, tacky shows like THAT ... ;) #WINK )
"Tonight's program was Produced by Norman Lear ... with Funding from a Grant by the Church of Latter-Day SAINTS!!!
"And now here's President Jimmy CARTER, with a message about wearing your SWEATER inside to use less HEAT, and save on your UTILITY *BILL* ...
"Jimmy??"
(cut to: President CARTER, wearing a blue-and-green mixed-therein SWEATER ... it looks like, it MUST be, a Christmas™ sweater, it just looks so GOOFY!!!)
"Turn it DOWN!!!" he says, making a MOTION towards the camera like on a TV dial ...
"Just ... turn it DOWN!!!" (again.)
"Thank you." (he FOLDS his hands, across his CHEST)
"And God Bless.
"And don't forget Gillette™ RAZORS!!!"
;)
#WINK
—finis.—
(LIGHTS OUT)
THE END ... for *REAL*!!!
(Ferris BUELLER comes OUT, addresses AUDIENCE:)
"What are you still DOING here — "
[CLICK!]