Christopher Allen

Location London/Munich
Occupation Lebenskünstler
Website http://www.imustbeoff.com

Books by Christopher Allen
  • by Currie Alexander Powers, Kathy Hardy Rhodes
    CPO Pub., 2009-06.

  • by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Amy Newmark
    Chicken Soup for the Soul, 2009.

  • by Emma J. Wisdom
    Post Oak Publications, 2009.

  • by Marianne Worthington
    MOTES, 2010.

  • by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Amy Newmark
    Chicken Soup for the Soul, 2010.

  • by Camille Gooderham Campbell, Steven Smethurst, Carol Clark, ...
    Every Day Publishing, 2011.

  • by Nicole Monaghan
    lulu.com, 2011.
    • About Me

    Prima donna with a cushy life. Hate me. No, wait. Love me.

    Seriously, I live each day as if were your last. Wait.

    OK, seriously seriously, I teach Business English to wonderful people from all the member states of the European Union. Everyone around me speaks at least twelve more languages than I do, so I'm continually reminded that I am dumb (albeit rather cute).

    I am my writing and my writing is I, but I also cook.

    I sing, but mostly in my bedroom, which reminds me of one of the killers in Truman Capote's In Cold Blood -- the one who chews on aspirin all the time and dreams of being a star.

    I've won a few awards, so I might as well tell you about them. You can skip this paragraph if you think I'm just showing off. In April 2011, I (and one of my stories) was a finalist at Glimmer Train. In 2010 I won The Smoking Poet's third annual short story contest and, together with M.J.Nicholls, the Strange Circle Magazine short story contest.

    I'm an editor at Metazen. If you have something under 2000 words and you think it's right for us, we'd love to read it.

    You can fan me if you think I'm hot on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christopher-Allen/104635019617638">FACEBOOK</a>.

    You can find the archives of my published stories and articles at www.imustbeoff.com.

    Why do you write?

    Nothing fuels my creativity. I sit around -- playing Scrabble mostly -- until an idea slaps me on the back of the head, and then I write it.

    Any favorite authors? Books?

    Bill Bryson because he's single-handedly bring -ly adverbs back into vogue.

    Jincy Willett because I want to be so good myself. I'm a fan. Read my interview with her <a href="http://metazen.tumblr.com/post/2152323229/the-metaview-with-jincy-willett">HERE</a>.

    Jonathan Safran Foer because he's a loose cannon of creativity. I'll have what he's having.

    Lucy Ellmann because she tries STUFF and her STUFF is always GOOD.

    Christopher Allen's Wall

    Jane Hammons – 28 hours ago

    Thanks for the read and the fave on We Dance. I was hoping it would move!

    J. Mykell Collinz – Apr 19, 2012

    Hi, Christopher. Thanks for reading 'Wattle and Daub.' I greatly appreciate your insightful comment: the fears of our times is exactly correct.

    Bill Yarrow – Apr 18, 2012

    Chris, sorry to hear you've been suffering. Hope you have found some relief. Pain (all kinds) is horrible and debilitates not just the body but the spirit. Be well! Thanks so much for the comment on and fave of "Not That Kind of Pain."

    Foster Trecost – Apr 11, 2012

    Hi Chris, thanks for reading Cactus and thanks for commenting, too. We'll be in German before the year's out. fos.

    Bill Yarrow – Apr 11, 2012

    Hi, Chris. Thanks for commenting on "Chapel Access." Glad you liked the poem!

    Linda Simoni-Wastila – Apr 03, 2012

    Chris, thank you for reading and faving After he failed to wake up. Appreciate you taking time to read my words. Peace...

    Bill Yarrow – Mar 24, 2012

    Hi, Chris! Thanks for faving "The Hotel Where Esenin Hanged Himself."

    Bill Yarrow – Mar 05, 2012

    Thanks for commenting on "A Journey of Seven Thousand Miles," Chris. Glad you liked the poem.

    Mel Bosworth – Jan 26, 2012

    Just dropping by to say hello, young fella. Good to see you've found a comfort zone out here in e-land. Keep moving and grooving in 2012 and beyond.

    Marcus Speh – Dec 21, 2011

    hi chris, thank you for commenting on "fox". as my friend nietzsche said, "You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”

    JP Reese – Dec 04, 2011

    Hi Christopher: I hope your shoulder's better! Thanks for stopping by to like "For the Lost Boys." I am late getting my thanks out, too, so we're a draw! Feel better.

    Kari Nguyen – Nov 29, 2011

    Thanks for the great comment on You Take All!

    Marcus Speh – Nov 23, 2011

    i wish, christopher. you know there're no happy pills without serious side effects...thanks!

    Johnsienoel – Nov 21, 2011

    Hi, Chris! Thank you for always being so supportive. Fictionaut is a really great site. I don't spend nearly enough time here. Maybe in 2012.

    Kathy Fish – Nov 17, 2011

    Thanks, Christopher, for the read and fav for "Baby, Baby..." I am a fan of your writing!

    Tawnysha Greene – Nov 16, 2011

    Thank you for your comments on "The End of the World." I appreciate them very much!

    Jack Swenson – Nov 14, 2011

    Christopher, thanks for the kudos for my Twain story. The sad things is that Twain was right!

    Susan Tepper – Nov 11, 2011

    Hey cute boy, When you comin' back to the city? Thanks for what you wrote about "Protest"...

    Barry Basden – Nov 10, 2011

    Thanks, Chris, for your kind words about "Rainier."

    Bill Yarrow – Nov 10, 2011

    Thinking all day--sounds exhausting! Just kidding. Thanks for faving "Before the Door," Chris.

    When I came up with the title, I was thinking about Kafka's little parable "Before the Law"--another thought piece!

    Gill Hoffs – Oct 29, 2011

    A belated thank you for the kind comment and fave on 'Creature in the coal' - much appreciated!

    Isabell Serafin – Oct 29, 2011

    Thank you, Chris. I appreciated your commentary and fav on "Innocence".

    Kari Nguyen – Oct 27, 2011

    Thanks, Chris! Happy to have you reading my work.

    Marcus Speh – Oct 25, 2011

    i felt a political diatribe come on, you know, and i'm glad it turned into something else instead. thanks for noticing the detail, chris!

    JP Reese – Oct 23, 2011

    Chris: Thanks for liking "2008..." Loved Robert reading your piece at WUWM. Congrats!

    Matthew A. Hamilton – Oct 18, 2011

    Thank you for reading Psych Interview with a Rape Victim. Much appreciated.

    Meg Pokrass – Oct 18, 2011

    thank you Chris! for your very supportive words on the Gargoyle piece, and much appreciated!

    Meg Pokrass – Oct 16, 2011

    thank you sir, for your comment and fave. I am hoping you are well and enjoying life... xo-meg

    Harley May – Oct 16, 2011

    Oh, thank you for reading my Measure Two. I'm glad you liked it and faved it. That means a lot coming from you.

    Bill Yarrow – Oct 16, 2011

    Astounded but happy "Satan and the Moon" is getting all these faves. Thank you for adding yours, Chris!

    Erin Zulkoski – Oct 15, 2011

    Dear Chris,
    Thanks for the comment and fave of "Little Grey Elephant." You're nice.

    Kari Nguyen – Oct 02, 2011

    Loved that wonderful comment on Da Capo. Thanks so much!

    Bill Yarrow – Sep 22, 2011

    Hey, Chris. Glad you like "The Sum Above." Thanks for the fave!

    Christian Bell – Sep 20, 2011

    Thanks, Chris, for reading and commenting on "Ascend." Much appreciated!

    Foster Trecost – Sep 15, 2011

    Hi Chris, thanks for reading my snail story, and thanks for the comment, too. Danke. fos.

    Bill Yarrow – Sep 15, 2011

    Thanks for faving "The Knitting Needle," Chris. Appreciate it greatly.

    Bobbi Lurie – Sep 14, 2011

    Hi Chris. I appreciate you writing about my "This never happened..."

    thank you--bobbi

    Christian Bell – Sep 13, 2011

    Chris, thanks for reading, commenting on, and faving "I'm Not Emilio Estevez"!

    JP Reese – Sep 13, 2011

    Hi Chris: Thank you for reading "It is what it is." I wish I didn't have to write it, but there will always be reasons for writing such as this.

    Meg Pokrass – Sep 12, 2011

    is is proper to laugh at nuns? I ask you?

    Jack Swenson – Sep 10, 2011

    Great comment about my profile of the biology teacher. Thanks!

    Marcus Speh – Sep 09, 2011

    thanks chris for commenting on "before the bloodbath"...no settling here, but calm before the storm only. i meant "sounds" to be a noun but your comment made me realize the sentence may have a problem...good catch.

    Susan Tepper – Sep 08, 2011

    the chocolate ice-- next time in Berlin!!

    Bill Yarrow – Sep 08, 2011

    Thanks for commenting on the Chattanooga poem, Chris. Regional happiness better than no happiness!

    JP Reese – Jul 17, 2011

    Chris: Another thank you for your kindness in responding to my piece "Imago." I appreciate you.

    JP Reese – Jul 16, 2011

    Chris: Thanks for stopping by to read and comment on "Vignette for Spring." I'm happy you liked it, especially the final line.

    Bill Yarrow – Jul 16, 2011

    Thanks for the comment on my curious tree poem, Chris. Glad you liked it!

    Susan Tepper – Jul 10, 2011

    Chris, thanks so much for re-reading and remembering!!! And your sweet words!! See you soon....

    James Valvis – Jun 28, 2011

    Chris, really appreciate your reading and commenting on "The Disease". I suppose it's okay for a 20 year old number. :)

    Traci Moore – Jun 27, 2011

    Christopher, Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts about my story, "The Wonders of Wonder". A real treat!

    David Ackley – Jun 24, 2011

    Thanks for the funny and also seriously astute comments on "South Texas Mobius," it was worth writing just to read a comeback like yours.

    Ivan R. – Jun 21, 2011

    Thank you for reading my story and for your kind comment.

    Robert Vaughan – Jun 19, 2011

    Hi Christopher, thanks for everything. Truly. Latest, for your recent comments on 3 Short Shorts. I adore you.

    Jane Hammons – Jun 19, 2011

    Thanks for reading "Mothering in Real Time," Christopher. Yeah, the media is and has long been a huge influence. For people like me who grew up out in the middle of nowhere, it provided a lot of the where! Now it might be too much where :)

    Marcus Speh – Jun 19, 2011

    thanks for commenting and fav on "<a href="http://www.fictionaut.com/stories/marcus-speh/under-the-apple-tree">under the apple tree</a>" (changed the title)...

    Greg Davis – Jun 18, 2011

    Hi Chris.
    Thanks very much for your kind words about "Scandal, in Eight Parking Arrangements" and thanks you also for catching the error in the story. Much appreciated!

    MaryAnne Kolton – Jun 18, 2011

    Chris, yes, it is very real isn't it? Thank you for reading and commenting on A Backpack of Anger.

    Roberta – Jun 18, 2011

    Thank you for the lovely comment on 'Mulch.' Much appreciated

    Penny Goring – Jun 18, 2011

    I'd even forgotten I'd asked! What a cool word. I reckon the English for it should perhaps be: ............... (I'm thinking)xx

    James Valvis – Jun 17, 2011

    Cris, your comment on "Likely Story" was much appreciated. Hope everything's zen (or meta thereof) with you.

    Gary Percesepe – Jun 17, 2011

    now THIS is a FN profile--

    way 2 go

    Bill Yarrow – Jun 17, 2011

    Glad you liked "Demolition Derby," Chris. Thanks for commenting. People watching--that's what we writers mostly do, eh?

    Christian Bell – Jun 16, 2011

    Chris, thanks for reading and commenting on "Drive"!

    James Lloyd Davis – Jun 15, 2011

    Christopher, thanks for the fave and the comment on "The running from San Pedro blues." What's a Back Street Boy?
    Just kidding.

    Gill Hoffs – Jun 15, 2011

    Thanks for your kind comments and fave-ing of 'A bottle of raspberries', much appreciated!

    Sophie Kipner – Jun 15, 2011

    Thank you, Christopher, for your lovely comment. I'm so glad you enjoyed, "Well Water." :)

    Emily Smith-Miller – Jun 14, 2011

    thanks for your comments and for reading my stuff and liking it, haha I appreciate it

    Roberto C. Garcia – Jun 13, 2011

    Thanks Christopher! I do love NYC! Thanks for your comments on "Summertime City".

    Kari Nguyen – Jun 13, 2011

    Chris, thanks for the nice words on Migration. Appreciate it!

    Roberta – Jun 10, 2011

    Thank you for the comment on 'The Answer I Won't Give.'

    That may be the nicest compliment I've ever received about my creative use of entrails in a piece of writing...

    Penny Goring – Jun 10, 2011

    Thanks for reading warp factor 13. What does Lebenskünstler

    mean? x

    Emily Smith-Miller – Jun 09, 2011

    or what? hahaha

    Meg Tuite – Jun 09, 2011

    Christopher,
    Always love your comments!!! Thanks so much for reading "Unsaid." I look forward to collaborating w/ you next month!!!

    Bill Yarrow – Jun 08, 2011

    "Fungible" is just one of those words, isn't it? Thanks for the fave of "Hitting the Wall," Chris.

    Misti Rainwater-Lites – Jun 08, 2011

    thanks so much for the kick ass comments! 'preciate it, as we say in tejas.

    David McKenna – Jun 07, 2011

    Damn typos! Actually, I "lived" "The Pain Taster" makes as much sense as I "loved" it. The story resonated, as they say.

    David McKenna – Jun 07, 2011

    Thanks for the welcome, Chris... I lived "The Pain Taster. Got a perverse kick out of this line: "the man who pays me to sweep and sweep: he's never satisfied."

    Michael Parker – Jun 07, 2011

    Hi Chris! Thanks for the welcome to Fictionaut! I love your work.

    Marcus Speh – Jun 06, 2011

    thanks for leaving comments on "in the nude" both here and at pure slush. it's not all slush. some memories glitter even with the mediterranean next to them...well, but you've been there.

    Brittany Newmark – Jun 06, 2011

    Christopher, thanks so much for your comment on my story, "The Last Lion." I am new to anything internet and I was not even sure people could really read the story. I appreciate you both reading and commenting--thanks

    Jason Henry McCormick – Jun 06, 2011

    Thanks so much for your comments and for reading my story, Chris.

    J. A. Johnson – Jun 06, 2011

    Thanks for your comments on White Noise, Christopher. It's funny how badly our machines can fail us, isn't it?

    Jack Swenson – Jun 05, 2011

    Yes, indeed. A bumpy ride, that's for sure. Thanks so much for your kind words & star for "Snapshots."

    Isabell Serafin – Jun 03, 2011

    Hello, Christopher--Thank you for the kind commentary and the Fav. I look forward to reading your work.

    Jack Swenson – Jun 02, 2011

    Loved your comment about my story "Reverie," Christopher. Yes, indeed, it is a weird snapshot. I think I will do more; make a series, maybe.

    Foster Trecost – Jun 02, 2011

    Hey Christopher, Thanks for reading my telephone story, and thanks for the comment, too - I appreciate both! My gf's from Munich, we were there Dec last year, four fast weeks. fos.

    Bill Yarrow – Jun 01, 2011

    Thanks for liking "Prowl Car," Chris. The allusions in this poem are just winks and nods to authors I like and recommend: Delmore Schwartz (In Dreams begin Responsibilities), Desiderius Erasmus (In Praise of Folly), Mario Vargas Llosa (The Green House), Guillermo Cabrera Infante (Three Trapped Tigers), Ramon del Valle-Inclan (Tirano Banderas), and Kit Smart (Jubilat Agno).

    James Valvis – Jun 01, 2011

    Chris, your comment about "She Danced Like Fred Astaire" was truly touching. I'm glad the story meant something to you. Thanks for making my day.

    Roberta – Jun 01, 2011

    Hi Christopher,

    Thank you very much for the comment & fave on 'First Light' !

    Carol Reid – May 31, 2011

    Hi Chris, thanks for reading "Saturday" and for your generous comment!

    J.A. Pak – May 30, 2011

    Thanks so much for your great comment on "The Woodsman".

    Fred Osuna – May 30, 2011

    Thanks a lot for reading and commenting on "Beyond Penderecki," Christopher. A "painful full-circle," for sure.

    Berit Ellingsen – May 30, 2011

    Thank you for your comment to Repatriation! I'm sorry to know your loss of a brother. I can't imagine what that feels like. I hope the loss is not recent.

    Jane Hammons – May 30, 2011

    Thanks for the "stark, raving real" on Headstone III. Love that expression!

    Penny Goring – May 30, 2011

    Thanks! oink.

    Kathy Conde – May 26, 2011

    Thanks so much for your comments on "Movement." I love what you have in the About Me section on this page!

    Foster Trecost – May 26, 2011

    Chris, thanks for reading Retribution, and thanks for the comment, too - I appreciate both! fos.

    Shelagh Power-Chopra – May 26, 2011

    Chris, thanks so much, I'm glad you liked Cifesboren!

    Chris Okum – May 25, 2011

    Thank you for reading my story, Christopher. 'Tree trunk' is a very interesting way to describe what I wrote. If you have a moment a little later today please explain this further to me, what you mean by 'tree trunk.' I feel like I get what you're saying, but not really, and I would like to.

    Misti Rainwater-Lites – May 25, 2011

    Thanks, Christopher! Glad you like my latest.

    Kait Mauro – May 24, 2011

    Yeah, I guess you could call it automatic writing. Thanks for reading and for the thoughts, they're appreciated.

    Larry Strattner – May 24, 2011

    Thanks for the remarks on Addict. They made my day.

    Neil Serven – May 24, 2011

    Hey, Christopher. First, just want to say I enjoyed reading "The Readers in Car 103" at TrainWrite. I can definitely relate to Jessie and his conniving ways to get the girl.

    Second, thanks for the read and fave on "Gunplay." I'm glad you liked it.

    Paula Ray – May 23, 2011

    I need an edit button - I messed up your wall post and your review with typos - sorry about that

    Paula Ray – May 23, 2011

    You're welcome, Christopher and thank you for reviews Sky without a Song. I'm doing well. Staring out at the birds and smelling the gardenia on my desk. Everything is so green and vibrant outside, writing will have to wait until dark.

    Sheldon Lee Compton – May 23, 2011

    Thanks for the close read of Alligators, Christopher. I am working with time and place in this first section, and it becomes even more a centerpiece in later sections. Thank you for pointing out that it's working at least at some level for readers. I appreciate it, man.

    Susan Tepper – May 19, 2011

    Chris so glad you enjoyed "Tool." All the breakage part was true, the rest I made up!

    Julie Innis – May 18, 2011

    if I'm golden,then you're platinumed, baby - that's a word, right?? xoxo!

    James Valvis – May 12, 2011

    Christopher, thanks for reading and commenting on "Staying"!

    Shelagh Power-Chopra – May 02, 2011

    Hi Chris - I'm glad you enjoyed the ending - still tweaking & it may even change! Thanks for your comments!

    Bill Yarrow – Apr 20, 2011

    Thanks for faving "Addictions," Chris. Here's to breaking those chains!

    Larry Strattner – Apr 18, 2011

    I lived that multi-lingual thing once. It made me feel like an idiot. No. Wait.

    Thanks for the Rat Hunter comment.

    Jules Archer – Apr 17, 2011

    Chris - tons of thanks for your comments on "Woman". So appreciate.

    Shelagh Power-Chopra – Apr 17, 2011

    Thanks, Chris, really appreciate your comments on care & danger!

    Bill Yarrow – Apr 13, 2011

    Thanks, Chris. Was fun to toy with that madness. ("The Truth Will Out").

    Roberto C. Garcia – Mar 29, 2011

    Hi Christopher, thanks for the comments on "Lunch Bird". Hope to see your bird poem on here soon!

    Robert Vaughan – Mar 20, 2011

    Christopher,
    Thanks for your funny comments on "Dew Drop Inn." Made me chuckle.

    Meg Pokrass – Mar 14, 2011

    Chris - thank you for the kind kind words and for the typo alert! xo-meg

    Jen Knox – Mar 12, 2011

    Thank you for reading 'Wave'. You rock!

    Boudreau Freret – Feb 28, 2011

    Hi, Chris - thank you so much for reading "1991" and your wonderful comment!

    Jack Swenson – Feb 25, 2011

    Thanks, Christopher. Yup, the message saved my bacon. Thanks for reading "Merry-Go-Round."

    Karen Eileen Sikola – Feb 18, 2011

    Thanks for your comment on "Sunrises and Borrowed Pages." I like knowing that the train ride is a universal experience. :)

    Kim Hutchinson – Feb 09, 2011

    Thanks for the comment and fave on 10 Keys, Christopher. Much appreciated. Glad it put a smile on your face!

    Frank Vander Rasky – Feb 07, 2011

    Hi Chris. Happy you enjoyed “Badabing Badaboom.” Your comment and fave much appreciated! Franco :)

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