A Gift of Love (for the Valentine's Day Massacre Challenge)
by Susan Gibb
He laid it all out on the kitchen table: wrapping paper covered in tiny hearts, a special valentine shaped like a heart that read “To My Wonderful Wife on Valentine's Day,” and his present for her. He couldn't find the scissors so he used his knife. Red ribbons flowed so suitably against the stark white table. He was all thumbs at this and yet he knew she'd understand.
She'd called and said she'd be home a little late. “On Valentine's Day?” he'd said. She clucked her tongue in sympathy. “I know, I know, sweetheart, but it's just another file or two and I'll be home.”
He'd made a chocolate cake with strawberry jam filling and whipped cream frosting. For dinner he'd thrown a chicken in the oven, oiled and pricked two potatoes and set them carefully on the grate alongside the pan. He bought bagged ready-to-serve salad and cut some olives and onions in a nice display on top. And he made her favorite buttermilk dressing.
“Damn!” he said. The knife was dull. He threw it in the sink and pulled a long large carving knife from the wooden block set he had given her for Christmas. The carving knife made things much easier.
When he was done, he cleaned the table from the mess he'd made and set the package just beyond her plate. He checked the chicken, turned the oven off and poured the wine. She should be home soon, sooner than she'd thought, something he knew better than she.
He heard her car pull in the driveway, jumped up and pulled the chicken from the oven and made one last check on the package by her plate. To make sure it wasn't still bleeding. He sighed. What better gift: her lover's heart.
Oh my god! Fantastic, so imaginative and DARK! I totally Love this-- that last line blew me away. I never expected it--
brava!
Terrific story. Packs a real wallop!
Thank you both! The story just kind of tumbled out by itself when I had an image of ribbons of blood.
wonderfully massacreous (?)...gets a red ribbon from me. i'm feeling too peaceful right now for a serious attempt at public bloodletting...i think.
Marvelous writing, Susan. One of your best pieces. Wonderful flow here - "When he was done, he cleaned the table from the mess he'd made and set the package just beyond her plate. He checked the chicken, turned the oven off and poured the wine. She should be home soon, sooner than she'd thought, something he knew better than she."
Great form.
Ingenious!
Wow, Sam, thank you so much. Looks like I'm having better reception to stories I write in a heated moment for a deadline than the ones I labor over. Maybe it's just a case of letting go of the reins...
Lou, thank you. This one sort of wrote itself and I hope that doesn't mean something about my subconscious.
Finny, think like an American and a V-day story will come to you.
Susan,
I asked myself now who would think of writing a story like this just in time for Valentine's Day?
Why Susan, of course!
Wonderful. I knew something was up, but the ending caught me by surprise anyway.
Well, at least she isn't lying about being at work on Valentine's Day.
Unless, of course, she has yet another lover.
Jack--thank you! Every now and then the Poe rises in me. He's never set me free since high school.
Jon--Wouldn't that be a trip--her not knowing which lover it was.
- The End -
so perfect + 'hearty'!
FREAKING PERFECT!!!!!
Susan, this is nasty and a lot of fun. I have this story playing itself out in my head, like its on a projector. The creepy Erlewine films from the 70's got nothing on this. Well done!
Dorothee, Meg, David--thank you! I tapped into my dark side (easily accessible, always full and ready).
ouch!
Duh! I didn't get it and then I did and read a second time chuckling all the while.
Damn, chilling. Great stuff!
Thanks guys. I must appease the gods of evil upon occasion or my writing suffers for it.
Susan, Susan, what dark mischief you mischievously made for us. But very well done, engaging and, yes, shocking. Excellent!
I'm sitting here trying to imagine how this story might continue. I'm pulled into it all the way. Excellent story.
Paul and Kevin, thank you. I do try to keep Bad Susan silent, but I must have fallen asleep at the keyboard.
Nice. I thought of the old story about Van Gogh and the ear.
L.O.V.E. this.
HA!
sooner than she'd thought, exactly.
love those delicate olives.
So much fun.
excellent!
Matt, Marcelle, Sara, Julie, thank you all so much. This was a very fun story to write once I realized what was going on!
Fabulous story, fantastic imagery.
Hah!!!! brilliant! Premeditated and wilfully wicked... I loved it!! He should've cooked it with the chicken to help thicken the gravy!
Gorgeously gory, Susan.. :0)
Gorgeously dark and subtle--the slow build-up of sumptuous, innocuous detail. I had to read the ending a couple of times to make sure I hadn't misunderstood.
Thank you all! I'm beginning to like this dark side of me that's coming out here...
Stunning use of White Space here. Her calling to say she'll be late on Valentine's Day was just enough to seed the presence of a likely lover in the background, as poor Mr. Fluffy does his meticulous loving prep. We worry for him, until the reveal, and it's hard to think of a reveal with as big as surprise as this! Outstanding! MORE dark Susan, please.
Thanks, Barry! It sort of surprised me too but I just wrote down what happened! I will certainly return to the dark side soon.
Wow, you got me on that one!
wow- i didnt expect this at all!
I didn't either, but nothing like a scorned man, eh? Thanks for reading.